For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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