I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
