A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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