At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize