I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
