I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
