And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize