I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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