dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
