thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
