I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
