My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize