maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
