His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
