You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
