I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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