and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Say something about gay babies.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
