Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
