But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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