ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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