apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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