Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize