wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
