i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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