WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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