legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
