I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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