So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize