i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
