haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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