woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize