last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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