I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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