If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
