So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
