I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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