i wish my penis had a tongue
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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