I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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