i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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