Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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