You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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