Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
