she was so not down for the gang bang
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
