I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
