Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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