Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
