My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
