i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
