I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize