you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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