I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
