so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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