He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
