Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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