He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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