It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
